Please don’t be colourblind. Be fascinated by the rich tones of my skin. Watch in awe as the sun give my face a glorious sheen. Shiver with pleasure as you contemplate the limitless bounds of race. And in turn, I will marvel at the perfect pallor of your skin. I will wonder endlessly about the flawless canvas which is your colour. And like a child, I will sit wide-eyed, giggling with ecstasy as I come across more and different physical appearances. All different, but all beautiful. So please, don’t be colourblind; rather, embrace the varying features of our amazing species.
When I was little, I wanted to be white.
That’s the colour the sweet, popular girl at school was. That’s the colour the beautiful, breath-taking supermodels on the billboards. And that was the colour all the characters in my favourite tv series were. Which role models looked like me? Beyoncé is now the third woman (behind Naomi Campbell & Halle Berry) to grace the cover of Vogue in the magazine’s 123 years of publication, and people are raving as if this is iconic. That’s not iconic. That’s ridiculous. The third in 123 years. But you say there is equality.
My mother moved from France to England because she didn’t believe she, a young black woman, could get a respectable teaching job where we were. My mum forced me to read English story books, meant for an age much younger than I was yet it was still extremely difficult. She made me read every single day and I hated every minute of it. I see know that she did this so I could speak English perfectly by the time it mattered, by the time people started to assume I was illiterate, uneducated and ignorant from the colour of my skin. And even though my mum spent hours teaching me the English I am able to speak so fluently now, due to her patience and encouragement, you can still tell English is her second language. She asks me how to say certain British expressions to fit in, She asks me to proofread emails for her, out of embarrassment that she feels her English isn’t sufficient enough to be taken seriously, it sickens me that while their mastery of the English language is more than proficient, it doesn’t matter, because the rest of the world doesn’t care. But you say there is equality.
I grew up, watching the world’s understanding of my cultural heritage being reduced to the “black best friend”, being portrayed as domestic help, sassy and thugs. I grew up being asked “but, where are you really from?” as a reply to when I told them I was born in France. I grew up, being told I had to be the servant when I played families with my white friends, when I held in me the fact that when slavery was finally abolished, slaves received no apology and the slave-owners often received a minimum of £50 per slave in compensation. The slave-owners received paid compensation. But you say there is equality.
I live in a country that when a well-known television presenter says the racist n-slur, on air, he keeps his job .I live in the 21st century, where the only understanding I can get about the story behind my heritage comes from my own parents, where the only times I can see people who look like me on screen and aren’t portrayed in a degrading, racially comic, stereotypical way is on YouTube. The caricatures on television teaches us that we are brash, aggressive deficient at English and poor. But you say there is equality.
Who would want to black? In the few instances coloured people made an appearance on my television, they were always the criminals, the delinquents, the poor or had a funny accent everyone could laugh at. Obviously no way someone who wasn’t white could be educated, wealthy or even just a generally good person.
But still, you love your jazz music, your fried chicken. Please, enjoy your holidays to the Caribbean, your corn rows and Morgan Freeman.
ok first, thank you so much to Quiet Alison for the nomination, I really appreciate it!
Onto the questions *drumroll*
1. What is your proudest moment?
Wow, this is a hard one. It’s quite sad to admit but I just haven’t really done much in my life so far. I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t and others which I’m too lazy to care about. I guess I’m proud of the moment when I realised that the most important thing is to just be happy with yourself and if you’re not, make sure you do things that will bring you there.
2. What is your favourite colour?
Ok, once again I’m going to talk for too long about this. I have a few colours I really like (blue, yellow, grey) but at the moment green is by far my favourite because this weather is making me associate green with cool grass for picnics (+ just nature in general) and lime slushies.
3. If you could be any fruit, what would you be and why?
Definitely a kiwi – it’s bright, green, yummy and lives in hot countries. What more could you want?
4. Which way do you smile 😊 or :)?
I’ll just show you my recent emojis:
5. Favourite animal and why?
Well this used to be Dolphins and I always wanted to swim with them but then I found out that they rape other sea mammals so that dream crashed and burned. It is now alpacas purely because they’re so damn chill. Here’s a picture for you:
The fact that it gives me time to prepare my answers instead of having to talk to real life people and having to think of things on the spot which would ultimately end up with me spouting crap.
7. You’re at a cafe, what drink would you buy?
ANYTHING VEGAN THAT HAS LEMON
8. What makes you laugh?
Well I’m not exactly a tough crowd and pictures of baby goats are a weakness for me
9. What do you find beautiful?
10. What is your favourite quote?
Yeah, this is another thing about me that changes everyday but we’ll go with this one for now
“Silence isn’t silent especially when it catches you alone. It speaks, screams, is deafening, until the only things you hear are the truths you block out by talking and laughing.”
Ok i should probably go to bed now
I’m feeling a little low on inspiration today so I’d thought I’d do this.
1. I was born in Saint-Denis, Paris and moved to the UK.
2. I go to boarding school in the middle of nowhere.
3. I’m a vegan (but I often slip up when it comes to sweets)
4. Most of my clothes are from Thrift Stores.
5. I really, really hate Eurodisney/Disneyland.
6. My favourite book is The Ciderhouse Rules, John Irving.
7. My favourite song is Mad World, Gary Jules but that will probably have changed by tomorrow
8. I’m going to stop at 8 because that seems like a solid number.
See you later everyonee 🙂