War

But you say there is equality.

When I was little, I wanted to be white.
That’s the colour the sweet, popular girl at school was. That’s the colour the beautiful, breath-taking supermodels on the billboards. And that was the colour all the characters in my favourite tv series were. Which role models looked like me? Beyoncé is now the third woman (behind Naomi Campbell & Halle Berry) to grace the cover of Vogue in the magazine’s 123 years of publication, and people are raving as if this is iconic. That’s not iconic. That’s ridiculous. The third in 123 years. But you say there is equality.
My mother moved from France to England because she didn’t believe she, a young black woman, could get a respectable teaching job where we were. My mum forced me to read English story books, meant for an age much younger than I was yet it was still extremely difficult. She made me read every single day and I hated every minute of it. I see know that she did this so I could speak English perfectly by the time it mattered, by the time people started to assume I was illiterate, uneducated and ignorant from the colour of my skin. And even though my mum spent hours teaching me the English I am able to speak so fluently now, due to her patience and encouragement, you can still tell English is her second language. She asks me how to say certain British expressions to fit in, She asks me to proofread emails for her, out of embarrassment that she feels her English isn’t sufficient enough to be taken seriously, it sickens me that while their mastery of the English language is more than proficient, it doesn’t matter, because the rest of the world doesn’t care. But you say there is equality.

I grew up, watching the world’s understanding of my cultural heritage being reduced to the “black best friend”, being portrayed as domestic help, sassy and thugs. I grew up being asked “but, where are you really from?” as a reply to when I told them I was born in France. I grew up, being told I had to be the servant when I played families with my white friends, when I held in me the fact that when slavery was finally abolished, slaves received no apology and the slave-owners often received a minimum of £50 per slave in compensation. The slave-owners received paid compensation. But you say there is equality.
I live in a country that when a well-known television presenter says the racist n-slur, on air, he keeps his job .I live in the 21st century, where the only understanding I can get about the story behind my heritage comes from my own parents, where the only times I can see people who look like me on screen and aren’t portrayed in a degrading, racially comic, stereotypical way is on YouTube. The caricatures on television teaches us that we are brash, aggressive deficient at English and poor. But you say there is equality.
Who would want to black? In the few instances coloured people made an appearance on my television, they were always the criminals, the delinquents, the poor or had a funny accent everyone could laugh at. Obviously no way someone who wasn’t white could be educated, wealthy or even just a generally good person.

But still, you love your jazz music, your fried chicken. Please, enjoy your holidays to the Caribbean, your corn rows and Morgan Freeman.

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all about dem quotes

“The secondhand experience is always better. The image is crisper, the view is keener, the camera angle and the soundtrack manipulate my emotions in a way reality can’t anymore. I don’t know that we are actually human at this point, those of us who are like most of us, who grew up with TV and movies and the Internet. If we are betrayed, we know the words to say; when a loved one dies we know the words to say. We are all working from the same dog-eared script.” 

I thought I’d start with the quote this time so that no one would have to go through my crappy writing to attain the pure genius of Gillian Flynn.

Anyway, as I read this quote for the first time (how ironic) it struck me as a lot closer to the truth than I’d like it to be.

I’m quite embarrassed to say that once, when someone told me their father was dead, my response was “How did they die?” 

No condolences, no apologies, already my brain was trying to turn this unfortunate event into a morbid, murder-mystery.

I will admit that anecdote didn’t have much to do with the quote but I just thought I’d share some of my embarrassing life with you. 

Moving swiftly on, here are the rules for the challenge: 

1. Post 1 quote for 3 days (can be your own or from other sources.

2. Nominate 3 bloggers to participate per post.

3. Thank the person who nominated you!

I’d like to nominate:

black panther

Sope

emilicious

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a quote for your time

Ok so I think we’ve all established that I’m not good at posting regularly but I’ll try to work on that. Thank you so much to idiosyncratic thoughts over a cup of tea, my life and a journal and Kait King for the nominations, they’re such good and interesting writers they kind of make up for my terribleness so go check them out!

My plan was to do a short quote as not to bore you to death but then I remembered this from ‘Starter For Ten’ by David Nicholls (definitely one of my favourite books) and I just had to put in. Sorry? Haha, well here it is:
“I want to be able to listen to piano sonatas and know who’s playing. I want to go to classical concerts and know when you’re meant to clap. I want to be able to ‘get’ modern jazz without it all sounding like this terrible mistake, and I want to know who the Velvet Underground are exactly. I want to be fully engaged in the World of Ideas, I want to understand complex economics, and what people see in Bob Dylan. I want to possess radical but humane and well-informed political ideals, and I want to hold passionate but reasoned debates round wooden kitchen tables, saying things like ‘define your terms’ and ‘your premise is patently specious’ and then suddenly discover that the sun’s come up and we’ve been talking all night. I want to use words like ‘eponymous’ and ‘solipsistic’ and ‘utilitarian’ with confidence. I want to learn to appreciate fine wines and exotic liqueurs, and fine single malts and learn how to drink them without turning into a complete div, and to eat strange and exotic foods, plovers’ eggs and lobster thermidor, things that sound barely edible or that I can’t pronounce. I want to be able to speak many languages fluently, and maybe even a dead language or two, and to carry a small leather-bound notebook in which I jot down incisive thoughts and observations, and the occasional line of verse. Most of all I want to read books; books thick as a brick, leather bound books with extremely thin paper and those purple ribbons to mark where you left off; cheap, dusty, second-hand books of collected verse, incredibly expensive, imported books of incomprehensible essays from foreign universities. At some point, I’d like to have an original idea. And I’d like to be fancied, or maybe loved even but I’ll wait and see. And as for a job, I’m not exactly sure what I want yet, but something I don’t despise, and that doesn’t make me I’ll and that means that I don’t have to worry about money all the time.”
The quote is so long I won’t say much about it but it sums up my life pretty well. I have no idea what I want to go yet or how I’m going to achieve all that but I feel like the quote gives a good sense of wanting to improve yourself and all that jazz. 
ANYWAY
Here are the rules!

1. Post 1 quote for 3 days (can be your own or from other sources.

2. Nominate 3 bloggers to participate per post.

3. Thank the person who nominated you!

I’d like to nominate: 

hunter pippin
quiet alison                                               a little daydreamer

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Freestyle writing challenge

Thanks to Luna for the nomination, this has been really fun! Everyone go look at her blog, it’s amazingly well-written and interesting!

The rules are:

1. Open a blank Document

2. Set a stop watch or your mobile phone timer to 5 or 10 minutes, whichever challenge you prefer.

3. Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH YOUR TIMER!!!

4. Once you start writing do not stop until the alarm sounds!

5. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spelling and grammar using spell check (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write with correct spelling and grammar.)

6. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation or capitals.

7. At the end of your post write down the number of words to give an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

8. Put the whole document onto your post and nominate 5 others and give them a new topic. Remember to copy paste the rules in!

My topic was Clouds and here’s what I came up with:
Clouds. It’s fast approaching summer (some people say it’s already arrived but seeing as it rained yesterday I beg to differ). For me clouds represent whatever you want them to. If you look up into the sky, and try as hard as you can, you can transform it into anything you want. A dragon, an ice cream or even a new Apple laptop. 

But clouds can be something else. Clouds can be the sadness that hovers over you wherever you go, the cold, wet drizzle that never seems to stop. It follows you everywhere, whether you’re alone in your bedroom or at a party full of people and there’s nothing you can do about it. An umbrella won’t fix it. You have to dig deep into yourself and look hard to transform that cloud from itself to a rainbow.

(Word Count: 126)

I’m not too proud of the quality of that post but there you go.

I nominate Taylor

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