War

But you say there is equality.

When I was little, I wanted to be white.
That’s the colour the sweet, popular girl at school was. That’s the colour the beautiful, breath-taking supermodels on the billboards. And that was the colour all the characters in my favourite tv series were. Which role models looked like me? Beyoncé is now the third woman (behind Naomi Campbell & Halle Berry) to grace the cover of Vogue in the magazine’s 123 years of publication, and people are raving as if this is iconic. That’s not iconic. That’s ridiculous. The third in 123 years. But you say there is equality.
My mother moved from France to England because she didn’t believe she, a young black woman, could get a respectable teaching job where we were. My mum forced me to read English story books, meant for an age much younger than I was yet it was still extremely difficult. She made me read every single day and I hated every minute of it. I see know that she did this so I could speak English perfectly by the time it mattered, by the time people started to assume I was illiterate, uneducated and ignorant from the colour of my skin. And even though my mum spent hours teaching me the English I am able to speak so fluently now, due to her patience and encouragement, you can still tell English is her second language. She asks me how to say certain British expressions to fit in, She asks me to proofread emails for her, out of embarrassment that she feels her English isn’t sufficient enough to be taken seriously, it sickens me that while their mastery of the English language is more than proficient, it doesn’t matter, because the rest of the world doesn’t care. But you say there is equality.

I grew up, watching the world’s understanding of my cultural heritage being reduced to the “black best friend”, being portrayed as domestic help, sassy and thugs. I grew up being asked “but, where are you really from?” as a reply to when I told them I was born in France. I grew up, being told I had to be the servant when I played families with my white friends, when I held in me the fact that when slavery was finally abolished, slaves received no apology and the slave-owners often received a minimum of £50 per slave in compensation. The slave-owners received paid compensation. But you say there is equality.
I live in a country that when a well-known television presenter says the racist n-slur, on air, he keeps his job .I live in the 21st century, where the only understanding I can get about the story behind my heritage comes from my own parents, where the only times I can see people who look like me on screen and aren’t portrayed in a degrading, racially comic, stereotypical way is on YouTube. The caricatures on television teaches us that we are brash, aggressive deficient at English and poor. But you say there is equality.
Who would want to black? In the few instances coloured people made an appearance on my television, they were always the criminals, the delinquents, the poor or had a funny accent everyone could laugh at. Obviously no way someone who wasn’t white could be educated, wealthy or even just a generally good person.

But still, you love your jazz music, your fried chicken. Please, enjoy your holidays to the Caribbean, your corn rows and Morgan Freeman.

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a quote for your time

Ok so I think we’ve all established that I’m not good at posting regularly but I’ll try to work on that. Thank you so much to idiosyncratic thoughts over a cup of tea, my life and a journal and Kait King for the nominations, they’re such good and interesting writers they kind of make up for my terribleness so go check them out!

My plan was to do a short quote as not to bore you to death but then I remembered this from ‘Starter For Ten’ by David Nicholls (definitely one of my favourite books) and I just had to put in. Sorry? Haha, well here it is:
“I want to be able to listen to piano sonatas and know who’s playing. I want to go to classical concerts and know when you’re meant to clap. I want to be able to ‘get’ modern jazz without it all sounding like this terrible mistake, and I want to know who the Velvet Underground are exactly. I want to be fully engaged in the World of Ideas, I want to understand complex economics, and what people see in Bob Dylan. I want to possess radical but humane and well-informed political ideals, and I want to hold passionate but reasoned debates round wooden kitchen tables, saying things like ‘define your terms’ and ‘your premise is patently specious’ and then suddenly discover that the sun’s come up and we’ve been talking all night. I want to use words like ‘eponymous’ and ‘solipsistic’ and ‘utilitarian’ with confidence. I want to learn to appreciate fine wines and exotic liqueurs, and fine single malts and learn how to drink them without turning into a complete div, and to eat strange and exotic foods, plovers’ eggs and lobster thermidor, things that sound barely edible or that I can’t pronounce. I want to be able to speak many languages fluently, and maybe even a dead language or two, and to carry a small leather-bound notebook in which I jot down incisive thoughts and observations, and the occasional line of verse. Most of all I want to read books; books thick as a brick, leather bound books with extremely thin paper and those purple ribbons to mark where you left off; cheap, dusty, second-hand books of collected verse, incredibly expensive, imported books of incomprehensible essays from foreign universities. At some point, I’d like to have an original idea. And I’d like to be fancied, or maybe loved even but I’ll wait and see. And as for a job, I’m not exactly sure what I want yet, but something I don’t despise, and that doesn’t make me I’ll and that means that I don’t have to worry about money all the time.”
The quote is so long I won’t say much about it but it sums up my life pretty well. I have no idea what I want to go yet or how I’m going to achieve all that but I feel like the quote gives a good sense of wanting to improve yourself and all that jazz. 
ANYWAY
Here are the rules!

1. Post 1 quote for 3 days (can be your own or from other sources.

2. Nominate 3 bloggers to participate per post.

3. Thank the person who nominated you!

I’d like to nominate: 

hunter pippin
quiet alison                                               a little daydreamer

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some random facts about me

I’m feeling a little low on inspiration today so I’d thought I’d do this.

1. I was born in Saint-Denis, Paris and moved to the UK.

2. I go to boarding school in the middle of nowhere.

3. I’m a vegan (but I often slip up when it comes to sweets)

4. Most of my clothes are from Thrift Stores.

5. I really, really hate Eurodisney/Disneyland.

6. My favourite book is The Ciderhouse Rules, John Irving.

7. My favourite song is Mad World, Gary Jules but that will probably have changed by tomorrow 

 8. I’m going to stop at 8 because that seems like a solid number.

See you later everyonee 🙂

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Time to Grow

Girls in England 

Have long hair.

Hair that’s flat 

And sits neatly

On their shoulders.

My hair is short

And black, 

And sticks up in

The morning

Like moody fur.

The girls in my class 

Speak to me, finally

And ask about my hair – 

Why it’s short.

“Is it because you’re a lesbian?”

She wants to know.

It’s true that 

Some boys have 

Longer hair than me.

                    – the weight of water, Sarah Crossman

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hype

as a teenager myself, I think our age group over hypes things a bit too much. The mere fact that a six-second video is able to get so popular purely from the constant attachment to social media that is only associated with the pre-teens and teenagers (maybe stretching to immature young adults) is worrying when you think that most of those people don’t even know who’s ruling their country.

A few days ago, I was trying to explain the ‘#1 New York Times Bestseller’, critically acclaimed, ‘The Fault In Our Stars’. It shocked me to know that this, 30 or so, friend of my mum’s, didn’t know this humorous and tragic novel, that was so well known with me and my friends.

Do we really tune out of the outside world that much? It makes me wonder how small all our dramas really are in context to the events that happen everywhere else..

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