I’m thinking about the three upcoming chapel services we have at school and it’s making me a bit sick to my stomach.

In case you’re a bit confused, let me just clarify. I go to a boarding school which actively likes to keep up pretenses of being filled with good little Christian children. Now of course many students hold their belief in God close to their heart but then again, a good fraction are atheists or simply not Christians.

When I first came to this school, I was a devoted Christian. I prayed often and prided myself on reading a large, (extremely boring) kid’s bible. I even did my holy communion and got confirmed. But as I grew older, heard of the terrible things that happened around the world and started discussing what it really meant to be a Christian, my faith stared to fall apart.

After I realised I didn’t actually understand to who or why I was praying, I started questioning whether this was a legitimate lifestyle. I didn’t appreciate the way that Christianity had been force fed to me since I was a child, and now that I was asking questions, I wasn’t sure I liked the answers.


28 thoughts on “faith?..

  1. If more people understood the simplicity of doing good just cause they are the right thing to do, then the world would be a far better place. Asking questions just means that you deny to follow something blindly and moving towards rational thinking.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. These kind of crisis moments will occur as you follow the path that you make for yourself as you walk it.
    It is easy for intelligent, creative people to become disillusioned when they see people who are hypocritical and also all the inhumanity in the world.

    It is more important to have some spiritual path, than to be ” religious “.
    Being religious has to do with appearances.

    You will find your spiritual strength as you go along. If you take some time to yourself on a regular basis, you will can do some relaxed meditating / sitting quietly. See what your heart tells you to see.

    Let your mind relax and stop with predetermined thoughts. The spiritual connection to living things, and spiritual truth, is something you have to feel and connect with yourself.

    It is individual and a personal path. You are special in the universe. You will find your spiritual connection to things that is uniquely yours.

    How can something so personal be dictated to us by authorities in a church telling us what to do ” to be in good graces” with god? How can they tell us exactly how, where, why etc to connect with god?

    It is a personal journey You are intelligent and you can become more aware of your own path to spiritual truth. Relax and do not worry about what other people tell you is spiritual, especially if you do not feel peacefulness when you are near them.

    Truly enlightened, or very spiritual people are calm to be next to. They give off a feeling of warmth, compassion, empathy, and love. If you do not feel that when you are near someone, then their spiritual authority may be fake and by their design to appear that way.

    Beware the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Trust you own intuition and your spiritual nature to seek your path to love and truth.

    Annie ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Helena Kokorev says:

    I agree, faith is so complicated! But maybe I ask too many questions, that is olways my problem! 😀
    BTW, I really enjoy your posts! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Questions are ok. Asking questions shows intelligence and thoughtfulness and curiosity. All good qualities.

      Most people just follow along with the crowd and do not question anything.

      When everyone follows everyone else, nobody thinks at all. ….Or actually the few people near to the top of the social rankings make all the rules and everyone else just trusts that they must be right.

      What happens when they happen to be horribly wrong about something? Everyone follows anyway because they are used to following blindly.

      Independent thinkers, that question right, wrong, and truth, are needed.
      Stay yourself and keep asking questions.

      Annie ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Well as an atheist who thinks indoctrination is child abuse I can see where you’re coming from. Religion is created by people. They use it for power. It is the cause of much hatred and war. Best off shelving the superstition.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mafuta Pula Metsing - the Augury Harbinger says:

    Reblogged this on Ai Kant Spal Kwit and commented:
    How religion breaks faith. I love Jesus Christ who IS the Everlasting Father (Isaiah 9:6) and lack any good words for Rome and her 47,000 Protestant descendents.

    Acts chapters 2&4 is where true Christians are seen the very last time in the Bible.

    People, not God, mess up earth.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Questions lead to new truths and better understanding. Questions lead to personal growth and development. Questions create better and stronger foundations upon which identities and self awareness begins. Anyone that’s angered or threatened by questions fears change.

    Liked by 1 person

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