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insomnia

just to clear everything up, I don’t have insomnia – just a messed up sleeping schedule that makes me a zombie most of the time. I’m also not deep, “grunge” or simply artistic enough to hold any claims to that photo, all credit goes to the mystical lands of tumblr.

However, I thought it summed up what I felt at the moment pretty accurately. I’ve already spent too much time pining after people who don’t even know my name and I’m not even 20. 

Anyway I don’t really have much to say today so I’m just going to recommend this song:

Delicate – Damien Rice 

Time: 23:32

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faith?..

I’m thinking about the three upcoming chapel services we have at school and it’s making me a bit sick to my stomach.

In case you’re a bit confused, let me just clarify. I go to a boarding school which actively likes to keep up pretenses of being filled with good little Christian children. Now of course many students hold their belief in God close to their heart but then again, a good fraction are atheists or simply not Christians.

When I first came to this school, I was a devoted Christian. I prayed often and prided myself on reading a large, (extremely boring) kid’s bible. I even did my holy communion and got confirmed. But as I grew older, heard of the terrible things that happened around the world and started discussing what it really meant to be a Christian, my faith stared to fall apart.

After I realised I didn’t actually understand to who or why I was praying, I started questioning whether this was a legitimate lifestyle. I didn’t appreciate the way that Christianity had been force fed to me since I was a child, and now that I was asking questions, I wasn’t sure I liked the answers.

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those simple feelings of “ugh”

it’s summer so why aren’t I feeling warm and breezy? Maybe it’s due to the constant, wet drizzle of British rain, or just the fact that I’m still in school.

Whatever it is, it sucks. Big time.

I could put that down as the reason why I haven’t written in a while but the truth is, I’ve just been lazy.

I’m pretty sure I hit a new low last night, getting out of my bed every 20 minutes or so and then opening a can of coke at almost 1 AM just for the sake of having something to do. Evidently, this didn’t go too well with my sleeping schedule – especially as I have to get up at around 6 to go to school.

I’m not sure if I can last till Saturday for the holidays…

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social media

well I just spent about 2 hours on Facebook looking at tumblr accounts because tumblr is blocked on the school wifi (wifi and data are another story). During that time, I received 1 call and 2 texts, all of them telling me I should be somewhere else. I think I’ve become to accepting of my dependence to my phone and the Internet and as I’m such my friends now all about. 

I can’t seem to go without checking my phone for 10 minutes, whether I’m bored or watching a really good film. I’ve taken to bringing my phone charger with me when I go to different places because my phone can’t simply be dead. I bring my phone to my lessons with me and impulsively check Facebook or play Cow Evolution (don’t download it, you’ll never stop) for no particular reason.

I just can’t seem to shake my addiction..

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Freestyle writing challenge

Thanks to Luna for the nomination, this has been really fun! Everyone go look at her blog, it’s amazingly well-written and interesting!

The rules are:

1. Open a blank Document

2. Set a stop watch or your mobile phone timer to 5 or 10 minutes, whichever challenge you prefer.

3. Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH YOUR TIMER!!!

4. Once you start writing do not stop until the alarm sounds!

5. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spelling and grammar using spell check (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write with correct spelling and grammar.)

6. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation or capitals.

7. At the end of your post write down the number of words to give an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

8. Put the whole document onto your post and nominate 5 others and give them a new topic. Remember to copy paste the rules in!

My topic was Clouds and here’s what I came up with:
Clouds. It’s fast approaching summer (some people say it’s already arrived but seeing as it rained yesterday I beg to differ). For me clouds represent whatever you want them to. If you look up into the sky, and try as hard as you can, you can transform it into anything you want. A dragon, an ice cream or even a new Apple laptop. 

But clouds can be something else. Clouds can be the sadness that hovers over you wherever you go, the cold, wet drizzle that never seems to stop. It follows you everywhere, whether you’re alone in your bedroom or at a party full of people and there’s nothing you can do about it. An umbrella won’t fix it. You have to dig deep into yourself and look hard to transform that cloud from itself to a rainbow.

(Word Count: 126)

I’m not too proud of the quality of that post but there you go.

I nominate Taylor

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some random facts about me

I’m feeling a little low on inspiration today so I’d thought I’d do this.

1. I was born in Saint-Denis, Paris and moved to the UK.

2. I go to boarding school in the middle of nowhere.

3. I’m a vegan (but I often slip up when it comes to sweets)

4. Most of my clothes are from Thrift Stores.

5. I really, really hate Eurodisney/Disneyland.

6. My favourite book is The Ciderhouse Rules, John Irving.

7. My favourite song is Mad World, Gary Jules but that will probably have changed by tomorrow 

 8. I’m going to stop at 8 because that seems like a solid number.

See you later everyonee 🙂

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